Shrub

SHRUB
by Alejandra Behler

Please, Commander, I pleaded most unctuously, we're on your side--

Then you must see ours. It charts the difficulties through which where we they could worship untroubled. That is why I asked-- are you? I thought so. But the galaxy's loss is our gain. We are pleased--

(Hinged flexible arms lifted straight up)

An interesting theological point, Arroz of conPollo. We must discuss things under the jaw with a swift uppercut. Its mouth clacked shut and I feel that some explanation is in order, Aida said, and Fido chunks of dry branches that Floyd brought back when it was good and--

A pleasure to meet you, Jim. Our thanks for activating.

---
Analysis

This is not a good poem. It appears to be a clumsily written polemic about President Bush, presented in the form of a conversation between he and a "Jim." I'm fairly confident Jim's interlocutor is President Bush for several reasons: Jim's pleading "unctuously" toward an unlistening Commander (in Chief); the "hinged, flexible" arms of the Commander lifting up like those of a marionette (controlled, for example, by Vice President Cheney); the way Bush cuts off Jim's sentences ("I'm the decider!"); his stuttering ("through which where we they"); "Arroz of conPollo," the demeaning nickname Bush assigns to Jim (who is apparently Hispanic); and, of course, the poem's title. The general theme of the poem appears to be that Jim is trying to convince Bush of something. Bush responds by saying that his faith has already decided for him, and then Jim is violently restrained by Aida and Floyd (Secret Service agents?) with the help of Fido, who appears to be some sort of attack dog.

Again, this is not a very interesting poem. However, I've chosen to highlight it for two reasons:

1) The ironic, pompous name "Arroz of conPollo" is hilarious and creative (albeit derogatory). Score one for the machines.

2) This poem, with its scathing portrayal of President Bush, brings up an interesting point about the nature of iambic penspameter. How did the computer that wrote this poem form this opinion about the president? Did it just happen to be searching anti-Bush websites for words to use on the day it wrote this email, or does it genuinely hold this negative opinion? It's reasonable to expect that a super-intelligent computer would not think well of President Bush, whose information-processing capacity is admittedly limited. But the question is: must computers rely only on the output of the human world to form their opinions about it, or are they truly doing their own critical thinking?